Last updated on 16 October 2020
So, as you all know, I have a book out. And the two main characters are real (well, they all are, just in a SLIGHT fictional setting 😉 )! So. I thought I’d conduct an interview with them. I think I made a huge mistake here… Enjoy.
It all started on a facetime, yapping dogs, a long black haired man and another… long blackhaired man sat in front of a white wall, obviously. They are clean as hell, though with all their dogs… I think its the only nice place they had. and then you had me, sat in front of a LGBTQ+ Flag… because I love rainbows, and its also the only clean space I had. one english accent, Steyvan and one German accent, George, asking if each other is ready, telling the dogs to shut up or no cheese will be had. On a personal note, George, if you read this, please don’t give them cheese. Their farts stink enough without it.
Me (Aimee): Hey boys! So, I think we should do introductions? You two are the pros at interviews, not me. So introduce yourselves.
George (G): Wow, you did warn us it might be cringy! Anyways, I am George Lunar Vaughn-Ray, I am a musician, Drag queen, florist apparently and I own a tonne of pugs… and a small Chihuahua named Jayjay who is currently yapping, so sorry if you can hear him! I also sing and play piano.
Steyvan (S): I am Steyvan William Vaughn-Ray, and I am a quiet man. I also do nails, play bass. That’s about it I think.
me: Well sorry, George.
George: *grabs his cup and takes a drink* I am not saying a word.
Steyvan: Awh! Leave her alone! Shes trying! What have you got for us today, Lollipop?
Me: Well, the question that has been on my mind since finishing writing my book, is, What have you two been doing? Like, I know a lot has happened.
G: Well, Steyvan, you can take this one. I am grabbing Jayjay *George leaves*
S: Well, Thanks, BABE. Well, we left the company in the hands of our son, and an a responsible adult, because we cant trust our son enough. Wont say his name, he likes keeping his life private haha! Um, we also moved to Cornwall on a permanent basis, we also started working for people and not ourselves. *George comes back with Jayjay in his arms* Aw bless him, where was I? I got distracted by the cute dog who think hes a baby.
Me: Work. I think… Oh my god I want to apply the dog to my face.
Steyvan: Maybe after. But work, yes! I am a nail artist and nail tech at a nail salon, small hobby of mine you didn’t know about, George is a florist, though he is in training.
Me: Lovely! George?
Me: Can I apply your dog to my face?
G: Maybe if we come back to where you are, yes.
Me: Awesome! Anyways, next question. When I was writing the book, what was the weirdest thing I asked you?
S: When we were working, and you stalked us. That’s it. You said nothing weird because we are used to that. It was you stalking us.
G: I remember that well! um… Right… That was weird. Yeah. Following us around wiping clients asses. Should of got you to do it for us!
Me: I’m good thanks.
S: At least you didn’t ask to watch us have sex for your book.
G: *Nearly spits out his drink laughing* you dick.
Me: Avoiding that one, how did you two cope with clients asking you about the book etc?
G: Well actually! We just answered questions that needed to be answered. Apart from the “omg you need to get into my bed!” ones. No. Wont happen. Sorry people!
S: That would have been weird. I’ve had people dry hump me. Well. Try to. Worse than that horny ass pug of yours.
G: Ha! You leave Slash alone.
G: I had a musician litter consisting of two litters and it was the same time, Slash, Ozzy, Axl, Orianthi, Cristina as in Lacuna Coils Cristina Scabbia, then we had Avril, Jon [Jon Moss, Culture club drummer], Boy George [Culture Club lead singer], Helen [Helen Terry, Culture Clubs backup singer (If you are reading this helen, you have a beautiful voice!)], Emilie [Emilie Autumn] and the last baby was Stevie [Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac]. So yeah. Slash was our breeder.
Me: Aw bless! Talking of dogs, How many did you bring with you?
S: Too bloody many in my opinion.
G: well, We came here with just Jayjay, in total we have about 20 to 30 pugs, but here, we only have 10 pugs, a kitten named alfred which, is our adopted daughters, Amber, kitten, and then we have a chocolate lab called Nivea, yes, the eyes match the fur, and a few more dogs here.
Me: Oof! A collection you have there! I have two more questions about the book. I know this is cringy! Sorry! I know I’m not good!
S: well you are trying that is the main thing!
G: I’m still not saying a word.
S: *hits Georges arm* Be nice and maybe I’ll give you a black ribbon later.
Me: Like I wanted to know that.
Me: Anyways, changing the subject, Steyvan, how hard was it to write that chapter about Magnolia Hell?
S: Honestly, PTSD triggering, but, it actually gave me a sense of relief. Like it gave me an opportunity to get it all out. It helped me in a sense. It let me get it all out, let me have some relief, and just basically relaxed me. Its even helped me become more confident in myself.
G: I can actually verify that. It has helped him. The PTSD moments as we call them, have been little to none. It really has helped him.
Me: That’s really good! Also, finally, George, this one is for you, then we can do some life stuff.
G: Oh sure!
Me: So, in the book, you did a small Q&A Session, and also like the story of your life is the book basically, how much of that is true?
G: 99% of it is true. The drugs, the alcohol, the gigs, the relapsing, the, well, everything until the last part, like 99% of it is true. and It is hard, but, it is also life of well, the less fortunate. The less fortunate of who was brought up on drugs and alcohol instead of the good stuff and tits and milk. So it is a story about peoples lives too. Obviously an under age being served alcohol isnt real, but it was to add to it. like the addiction needed to be fed.
G: Yeah, Its to basically show that no one is perfect too, and thank you for doing that.
Me: Any time! It also shows that the LGBTQ+ community are just human.
G: That it does.
Me: Life things. Yeah. So I heard you both have been getting into Drag! Tell me a bit more about that.
S: Well, George would be the best person.
G: Thanks babe, not. But we are getting into drag. As you know AJ & The Queen, The pipeline, bitch I was in that episode, but, I was dabbling in drag before hand, but anyways, Its a good money earner, and it enables us to just earn money, just by entertaining people. And I love that. It also enables us to do something different. I have basically inherited the name Ruby Red, Steyvan is Miss Violet Valentine and Its fun! Really is, apart from the tucking, that shit hurts. Like, you kinda gotta get your balls right up and ts just erugh, but I dont have balls. So I tape. Imagine getting like a bikini wax. plus a tattoo straight after. Not pleasant.
Me: Ohhh lovely.
G: I know! Its amazing! [Scarcasm]
Me: Well, on the thing of Drag, Do you know what im going to ask?
G: Yes, I love Rupaul! Shes lovely!
S: She is!
Me: well, that answered that one. What is your favourite thing about drag?
S: The outfits.
G: How did I know you were going to say that? For me, it has to be seeing people entertained, enjoying the gigs, and of course, the wigs, outfits and money.
Me: Whats that Jessie J Song? Its not about the money.
G: Gotta pay the rent somehow!
Me: Truth. So you are both Musicians. Whats the most interesting or crazy thing that has happened on tour?
G: Oh I shall leave this one to you Steyvan.
S: Well. We were on our 2012 tour I think it was. [George starts laughing] And we were in the green room as its called. It was a Metal gig, so bare that in mind. There is me, George, Tim, Rando and Rich. We hear classical music. George was listening to it. thought Fair enough. He like classical music. He stopped the music, heard someone sounding like they were having sex, I said to him “can you hear that?” [George laughs more] and he said “yeah.” We thought “Lets investigate.” Anyways, we started investigating. Tim and Rando and Rich have their own dressing room, We are weird like that, and we were looking, and looking and looking, nothing. So we went to their dressing room door. And we heard the noise coming from in there.
G: I’m sorry. I have to leave for pee. I’ll be back. [George leaves the frame laughing]
S: Ok then, Anyways, we knocked on the door, went in, and Tim, Rich and Rando were in corsets, female makeup etc, and dresses. We said “what was the sound!?” and Tim just looked at us like “corsets. They gotta be tight!” like, what we thought was something super rude, really wasn’t, it was just weird. And somehow, George finds that hilarious. We also have chucked tvs out of rooms etc, but somehow, That one gets George the most!
Me: Oh bless him! [Steyvan and I laugh as George comes back] Bless you.
G: I didn’t even sneeze?
S: Hes so confused awh. Gimme a kiss. [George and Steyvan kiss] All better? Not so confused?
G: I’m still fucking confused, but that makes up for it.
Me: So. Riders. Whats normally on it and whats the weirdest thing?
G: On my rider, theres generally like makeup, food, card games too, that kinda thing. Weirdest thing is penis lollies.
S: Mine is the same, but swap out penis lollies for art things. I do love to draw, and sometimes before and after a gig just relaxes me just right.
Me: Thats odd, George. But Steyvan, thats lovely!
G: [Hears dogs in the background] I have to go, someone at the door then its dinner time. [George boops Jayjay on the nose]
S: I better go then too! If it is who I think it is anyways!
Me: Well, in that case, thank you for this! Hope you enjoy dinner, and I shall maybe carry on another day?
S: We shall! Good bye!
And that is where the face time ended. On dogs, dinner and weird penis lollies on riders. Whatever floats your goat! I shall finish this interview off one day! But, for now, this will do.
I know it was cringy! But, come on. I gave it a go.
Hope everyone is ok and staying safe!